Doin' the Election Limbo

From animations to ballot spoofs, Web wags are having fun with the current presidential standoff.

James A Martin, special to PCWorld.com

The latest developments in the tense post-election saga include several T-shirts, a Texas toaster, a Chinese menu ballot, and two presidential contenders caught dancing bare-chested.

In other words, Web wags are adding much-needed comic relief to our current presidential cliffhanger, just as they did to the campaigns. (See "Web Ways to Have Fun With the Candidates.") The stress reduction begins with Bush and Gore dancing a jig, sometimes topless (Gore as a chubby Chippendales hunk), sometimes not (Bush in a tutu). The ridiculous gyrations from TVDance.com are choreographed to, of all things, a poor-quality rendition of Devo's early 1980s classic, "Whip It."

Playing Up Election Woes

Hecklers.com has mounted its own post-election insurrection with online games, puns, and pranks aimed squarely at George "Dubya" and Al. The satiric site features a game in which you match misquotes with the politician. (Did Bush really say, "You don't need to be smart to be President"?)

One of Heckler.com's online animations shows Gore planting a wet one on wife Tipper. Another, the celebrity dunking booth, lets Bush loyalists dump the vice president into a vat of acid or piranhas, drop him into a bottomless pit, or send him sky-high. In an effort to equally offend, Hecklers.com also features a George W. Bush Texas Toaster Game, in which you get to inflict capital punishment à la the Texas governor.

Hecklers.com's version of the Palm Beach County ballot reveals that the real ballot choices were between the Democratic, Republican, Libertarian, and Moronic parties. If you're "clearly too stupid to be included in the process of electing a President," the ballot instructs: "punch here."

Ballot Parody Bonanza

Speaking of the infamous ballot, Suck.com has uncovered the ballot designs rejected by Palm Beach County officials in favor of the one that confused citizens last week. Among the discarded designs: the Columbia House Ballot ("Each month you will receive a ballot asking if you want your candidate to remain in office. If yes, do nothing..."); the VCR Programming Instruction Manual Ballot ("To vote for your candidate, push the Play button repeatedly"); and the Chinese Menu Ballot ("Candidates are chosen one from Column A and one from Column B. The vote is then phoned in, and the winning candidate is delivered pan-fried or steamed").

Seattle radio commentator Dave Ross delivers a few clever jabs at the Sunshine state with "Blame Florida," a spoof set to the tune of "Blame Canada" from the South Park movie. "If we had half a brain," the lyric goes, "we would give it back to Spain." Mix in references to Elian Gonzales, displaced New Yorkers, confused voters, and the infamous ballot, and Ross could have a hit on his hands.

And finally, there's the inevitable effort to make a buck. Just in time for Christmas, a new site, Floridaelections.net, has sprung up to sell election-themed T-shirts for $15. One design purports to show a new Palm Beach County ballot, complete with pictures of the candidates and a crayon.

Another T-shirt has Gore as a tiny boy in man's clothing with the caption, "But I Wanna Be Pwesident!" A word of fashion advice: In keeping the current political climate, these T-shirts should be worn below the belt.